a beautiful message

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,
but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

安全感是一件很奢侈的东西

When men approach me...(part 2)

There is one extra crucial factor that i have been rejecting these men who approached me: they are younger than me! There was this young man whom i met in Yuma's burger king restaurant who asked for my phone number the moment i got out of the washroom. My first thought was: if i go out with you, people will probably think that i am out with you for class excursion!  My low self esteem is also hindering my saying 'yes' to these men, for the fact that one fine day they will find out i am so much older than them, i know i would be dumped immediately so why should i put myself through such agony...

Right, you probably would say that I still possess some market 'value' because i am still approached by men at this age. I do enjoy being given such attention but only for a moment because when these men started to call me, i really get scared...ha... yeap, too afraid to step into any form of relationship, too afraid to be rejected/dump/cast away...

Was i that unattractive back in Singapore? Why was there no one who asked for my number back in my younger times? Well, maybe i should enjoy such 'treatment' (if there is anymore) in my remaining months here in US because i will never get such attention anymore back in singapore...hee....

When men approach me... (part 1)

When women gather together, we talk about work, life, dreams and of course, man. So what do men talk about when they gather? That saturday night at Cheesecake factory, I was telling Jean and Vijay about a black guy who wanted to date me out that day. As usual, i was too 'afraid' to really date a man whom i met out on the streets. Americans are brought up to be more initiative and 'aggressive' when it comes to dating a woman out.

Back in 2008, there was this teacher who persistently wanted to ask me out to a dance festival in Chicago downtown. I turned him down because i was already heading to New York for my tour and so i didn't answer his calls after the day we met. He was a white and subsequently, i met a few white guys who asked for my phone numbers. However, i turned everyone down because of my biasness against the americans. I always felt that they can never be 'perfect' boyfriends or partners due to the bad 'reviews' of them being frivolous and disloyal. I do not deny i am being racist against this black guy and the biasness is even more due to the fact that alot of crime rate involved the black men especially, thus my insecurity. Seriously, i should be punished for harbouring such incorrigible notions and thoughts. 

大坡、小坡......

http://www.szeping.com/?p=871

有些事可遇不可求，来去聚散，皆是缘分