Welcome to the sometimes nonsensical, dreaming, oops! memory fading site of KhOon. This is where I'm keeping all my stuff from now on, so come back whenever you want to see what's new. Feel free to post a reply if you see something you like or just want to get in touch. 谢谢‘光临’！欢迎随时留言。 photo link: http://picasaweb.google.com/huikhoon
我很喜欢花。
我屋外的桃红和淡红夹竹桃在这两年半载里的每个夏季来临时总不负‘索托’争芳吐艳。现在不把这些花给留下‘倩影’，明年的夏季我已不再此地，更待何时？
曾经和我一同旅行的朋友都会知道我对花的痴迷到了哪种地步。是的，我会边驾车边叫：“你们看！路边绽放的向日葵美得不得了！天啊！真的很让人感动哩！”还好，到目前为止我还未此而遇上车祸，不然我怎么甘心放弃这美丽的大千世界扬长而去；我更舍不得这些花花草草。是不是有人笑我长不大，是超级大傻瓜，怎么连对花也寄放这么多的情感，甚至是路边的野花我也会对它们心存感激，感激它们让我拥有这么美好的视觉享受。
是痴？是醉？我醉与不醉，是在你们眼里；我醒与不醒，却是在我的心里。
一直以来，我梦想能有一天开个小花店或是当个花农，每天被姹紫嫣红、繁花似锦的花儿环抱着，呼吸着花儿所发出的香气。哇！多么写意，多么浪漫！人生还复复何求呢？
梦想．．．．．．
Just caught a movie 'Clash of the Titans' with Vijay 3 hours ago. Going to the cinemas is a common pastime of city people like us but eversince i arrived in Arizona to work, i have never visited a movie theatre in the States. I seem to be making a big deal out of this but as a moderate movie-goer back in Singapore, this is a pretty more than a teeny weeny deal, afterall i did not visit the cinema here for 2 whole years. The last time i stepped into a movie theatre was in fact back in Singapore on a home trip last december. It was the amazing scientific fantasy movie 'the Avatar' which starred Sam Worthington then. Coincidentally, i get to 'see' him in action again in this first film i watched in Arizona, he starred in the remake epic ''Clash' as Perseus, son of the God, Zeus.
I remembered some of the Singaporeans that i met here in Arizona told me about the 'no big deal' thing of watching a movie here, especially the technology in the theatres cannot match those in Singapore. Thus my stepping into a cinema had been postponed till now when i finally found someone who is not concern of this issue to accompany me. I went to the theatre with very little expectation, yet when there is no dolby sound effect, no Chinese or English subtitles and the lacklustre of 'super solid' vivid colours, i could not help but compare the movie experience in Arizona to that in Singapore. Yes, we are a small country but we do have 'big' advanced film depictions and technology to fill our senses in the cinemas.
Well, Arizona is lacking behind in some ways...so what? The arizonas still patronise these cinemas with zeal and so did i (eventhough i will only give it a 3 out of 5 credits to the movie experience if you ask me). All in all, i have to constantly remind myself to learn to appreciate simplicity in life, the simplicity that ultimately leads me to happiness.
好像每到春季，我就失眠，习以为常，本也不该有什么怨言；偏偏正要入睡时却又不受控制地回想往事。那天看了台湾偶像连续剧后就泛起了一些联想。戏本来就是戏，我的人生绝对不会像剧中的女主角--灰姑娘遇上白马王子那样，然后永远幸福地过着生活。哈哈，别说是白马王子，就是瘸马王子我想也轮不到我啦！
此时此刻，我又不由自主地想起初学院时同班的他。
说真的，我已经忘了他叫什么名，可是他的模样我并没忘。如果现在让我遇到他，而且他没变的话，我一定认得他。他让我心动的那一天的情景，我历历在目。回想起来，我忍不住发笑，也不怕说给任何人听。他不是十分英俊，绝不是言承旭那种（我喜欢这个台湾偶像演员，有些傲气、坏坏的感觉），但他就是有那股逼人的帅气可使得周边的女同学都像蜜蜂扑向花般被他所吸引。当然我这个丑小鸭也偷偷地对他投以爱慕的眼光。
有一回，我们在实验室里做化学实验，笨手笨脚兼白目的我就是无法将两种化学成分的液体混合好，失败了几次后便不禁自怨自艾。旁边的男同学对我无动于衷，而就在我正懊恼的当儿，他从我桌后静悄悄地走过来，一言不发地将我其中一个化学液体管子上的夹子往下一挪，液体受到控制后，自然滴率也就随着慢下来，混合液体的变化开始恢复常规，实验成功了！我顿时羞得满脸通红，这么简单的实验，但因为由我这个‘粗枝大叶’的笨女孩来搞自然没什么镐头！（所以初二时我放弃修化学改为修读物理）他只对我浅浅一笑便转身走回他的座位，而我只能对他更增添了多一份仰慕。我的模样十足像个乡巴佬，不丑也土死了（如今的我不时髦但是觉得比以前好一些啦），所以没有男生敢接近我，碰上这等事觉得好羞愧，而他竟不用我开口就来帮我，当年才17岁的我是情窦初开的年龄，我当然轻易堕入爱河；现在回想起来，我却实在受不了当时的自己，怎么那么可笑！
然而我无法向他表态因为围在他身边的女生也不是泛泛之辈，各有各的美貌，更有的是班上的优秀生，她们才貌双全，我拿什么去跟这些女生争，也只能默默暗恋他两年。他应该算是我暗恋对象为时最长的一个吧！
如果有一天我再遇到他，我会笑着对他说：“唉，对不起，忘了你的名了，但是想要告诉你，谢谢你在21年前帮我完成那次的化学实验！还有，让你今天快乐一下，我在初一时就很仰慕你了而且是两年之久哦！但是你记得我是谁吗？”当然他如果已经有了家庭，九成会有啦，这些话也只能在这里说了.....
童话是儿童的话语，与现实是挂不上勾的。
Yesterday was my birthday and for the first time of my life, i find the true meaning of health. Was teaching halfway before my eyes swelled to the point that my primary one kids were quite reluctant and awkward to look me in the eyes or face. I know i look hideous and that i was allergic to this medicine ibuprofen. So a kind parent offered to bring me to the air base medical centre to have a look at my illness. Well, as usual, the clinics is reputed to close at the official time and will not give a minute more to anyone. So she drove me to the nearby hospital emergency instead! Gosh, i never thought i need to go to an emergency room again so soon since the time i did 3 years ago at Changi hospital due to a fish bone stuck in my throat.
Well, so today i call off my lessons in case any of my pupils will catch on my flu disease. I had always been in good health and i tried very hard to maintain this for my stay here in US. Afterall, i am alone when i am sick and i have only myself to depend on to get myself on the road again. So confident was i that i will not succumb to this viral flu that is going around since i have survived it for the past 2 years. No, heaven forbids, i have to admit defeat to it on my last year stinct here. Then again, a few parents were so nice to bring me food and herbal tea, that took away some of my sickness blues.
My birthdays would usually end up with me having exams in my younger days and now being a teacher for so many donkey years, i would end up setting exam papers for the students. I had a roaring birthday last year with Jenny and Jessica celebrating with me though but this year, i had no one, just the sickness and the hospital detol smell! I am filled with gratitude that at least i did have a birthday slam to reminensce upon. Friends these days come and go, i know i will meet new friends and possibly have a blasting time. Concievably then they may, whoosh, suddenly be gone, big time. Those whom once i thought cared for me, will we ever meet again and talk about old times and forget all the betrayals? I would never know and perhaps it is good not to know so as to move forward in life...
这几天身体不适，每天的精力只足够熬过教书的时间。为此，也替自己找了借口而贪睡，没去健身班或瑜伽课。由此我便不敢在镜子面前招得太久或是站在秤量机上看那可怕的数字上升，免得庸人自扰。
两天前看了‘过期’早报的一则报道，标题是《教我如何喜欢华文？》，感触良多。
作者是一名中学老师，教的是中四高级华文班而且是爱华文的学生。只是他感叹中四会考的形式只能培养出考得好成绩的学生但不能’考‘出爱华文的学生。感同身受呀！远在美国教书的我更觉得教导这群因耳濡目染而极受美国文化影响的新加坡学生更是累！除了’美化‘的影响之外，基本上现在的孩子娇生惯养，碰上稍微不如意或困难的时候就只知道打退堂鼓，举白旗投降。当然我也知道就算人在新加坡，他们也同样排斥华文，江山易改，本性难移嘛！
不管我多么擅长讲故事也好，费尽心思想出各种有趣的游戏，学生听完后，游戏结束后，还是会当着你的面泼冷水。华文课好闷啊，作文好难写啊，我不知道老师你在说什么.....这些话怎能叫我教得不沮丧，不刺痛我的心啊！咳，真的，教了这么多年，越来越力不从心。
If i had not pressed on to the Delicate arch in the Arches National park, i would have just be satisfied with a lookout point of the 'teeny-weeny' sight of the arch way off on the mountain. Then again, the trail is really not suited for the weak hearted or the 'non-walker'. Now that i have reached and even walked underneath this arch, all the panting and huffing of the 4.8km trail is really worth it, plus not forgetting the slip on the frozen snow path at the switchbacks and fear of falling off the cliff. Mother nature is created in such a way that it seems we need to work for it in order to get the ultimate glimpse, as in the case of me doing the crazy hike in Grand Canyon just to touch the Colorado river and to stand under the Delicate arch.
To quench my thirst for seeing more in a different view from the usual travellers seems to be never ending now. At times, a part of me wished that i have consented to extend teaching in US for 2 years instead of one but i know i need to move on. This world is never enough...
不敢在这新的一年里许下任何的愿望，可能是最近比较‘忙’，所以没‘闲暇时间’许愿。我总觉得自己没有前几任Peace Carvin II华文补习老师的‘福分’，我的学生似乎在每个新年里都有增无减，不知是我教书‘高明’还是看管中心生意兴隆？但是若没有这些孩子们，我这个陈老师在亚利桑那这浩瀚之洲哪里有立足之地呢！得反省反省一下，在新加坡教书的日子更苦啦，比上不足比下有余，人比人气死人，我又忘了知足！
以往常告诫自己千万要扩大生活圈子，要学会搞好人际关系，要设法将自己的人气指数提高...... 然而不知是人到中年了，性情‘大变’，就是无法让自己撕下脸皮去主动与人社交，扮清高其实也并非俺的本色。这个‘扩大生活圈子’的愿望是奢望，今年别许，可是真的想要多一两个朋友，尤其是美国朋友。咳！很矛盾...
常常‘提笔’写博客时会偏向怨言、似哲理非哲理或是方言所说的‘有或无有’的东西。想一想，我在这里的旅游经验都‘荒废’了，没把遇到的怪人或啼笑皆非的事给好好地记录下来，实在有枉此行啊！也许我应该在这2010年里撬开记忆库把往日作为旅者的趣闻丑事都一一给写下来，娱己娱人。（话又说的太早，我很忙哩，加上记忆衰退，还是别给自己压力，有空才想这些东西吧！）heehee...
This is the first time i spend my New Year alone. But even if i were to be in Singapore, i would likely be by the tv because basically i hate crowds. Sometimes i realize my friends have a way with their words which really warms my heart. That day when i reported to a few that i have arrived safely back to Arizona, to my surprise, Peggy and Eleanor responded almost immediately. What peggy had always mentioned to me is that I will always be missed or remembered fondly by many in Singapore. Such caring and thoughtful words melt my heart.
There is something which i always seemed to forget to ask of my friends that: What do you see in me that makes you want to keep me as a friend? What was your first impression of me? Not that i would change my personality or character if i had the answers but i am always on the move of becoming a better person. Despite my impulsiveness and carelessness, all my shortcomings are accepted by these long-time friends that i would really want to change for the better so as to be worthy of their friendship. Mr Tan SH's generosity is something that i wish i can return soonest possible too.
Was glad that i was on the early flight back to arizona, this will 'hinder' any friends to send me off! Though i know mum cried already that morning in the house and i could see she and my sis missed me badly when sending me off. Afterall, we had been living together since i was born, 骨肉相连，how not to be sad that we are more than 9100 air miles away?
By the time i returned to singapore this december which is something i really look forward to. Hopefully all my friends will not chuck me aside...
What a teacher says and what he/she really means.
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.
7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
Really means: He's a bully.
9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.
12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.
So who says teachers aren't tactful?
I thought i would be stronger and will no longer tear until i dropped Eleanor at the pheonix international airport. Afterall we are going to meet again real soon for my return home trip is just a few days later. However, slight trickle of tears still skimmed past my eyebrows whilst i was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway back to home. I was real weary after our long trip from seattle and have caught a slight usual winter flu. Maybe my whole emotional affair is just a wallow of self-pity that i would be alone again. Sometimes i am afraid i will not pull through my stint in the states and would even dreamt that i cannot keep my head held high when i return to hometown for good.
On the other hand, i was afraid that with each depart, i would no longer feel the 'unwillingness to part' because that would mean i am turning cold-blooded. So perhaps all the emotional turns are good signs, i am still human after all.
1. “故作浪漫”的老毛病又再度复发，我这“绝症”总在我独处时、或是观赏凄美爱情影片时又神不知鬼不觉地来到我心中。其实秋天是生命来到了垂死挣扎，将要暂告的季节；我不是农夫，所以不懂得体会丰收。
2. 我又再度实现自己为自己许下的诺言，很有满足感，甚至感到世上无难事，只要慧群肯去动手做！嗤！只是又去山谷里徒步去了，有什么好炫耀的！故作玄虚？我想我可能不能孤独太久，也许我真的需要另一个与我有相同兴趣，臭味相投的伴侣。
1. 那部凄美的爱情电影刻画的是一个警探和验尸官的故事。验尸官得了罕见的头痛症，甚至会丧命的那种。警探和她探查的那宗案子就发生在一块印第安人的圣地中，那里藏了一具数百年来的印第安人化石，同时也找到了治疗不治之症的秘方。她深信在那一块印第安人数百年的传统医疗法和圣地才可以使她病好。这药方有五大要求：其一，水；其二，陶瓷碗（印第安圣人所用）；其三，神圣之地；其四，爱情；其五，爱你的人必须牺牲自己。是的，最后警探拔抢了，验尸官的头痛症烟消云散。
2.如果找到的伴侣跟我日子久了，把我看腻了可能不再疼惜我，也可能离我而另寻他欢，那我情愿还是一人。
1.他们不过认识两个星期，警探便付出他宝贵的性命好让深爱的人不再为病症而折磨，问世间能有几人做得到？那么悲凉，在这现今社会里还有人坚信这样的‘治疗法’吗？我们在忙忙碌碌地为生活而奔波时，是不是在心里的某一处其实还隐藏着旧时那种为情而生死相许的余光，只待一天被释放让后人美传。
2.我很被动，已经错过了许多‘良机’。我仍然被动，怕遭人拒绝，看来心中的他永远也不知道我的存在。
凄美的爱情故事对我只是天方夜谭，还是回到现实，好好地做好现今社会的奴隶才是真。
