Stronger?

I thought i would be stronger and will no longer tear until i dropped Eleanor at the pheonix international airport. Afterall we are going to meet again real soon for my return home trip is just a few days later. However, slight trickle of tears still skimmed past my eyebrows whilst i was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway back to home. I was real weary after our long trip from seattle and have caught a slight usual winter flu. Maybe my whole emotional affair is just a wallow of self-pity that i would be alone again. Sometimes i am afraid i will not pull through my stint in the states and would even dreamt that i cannot keep my head held high when i return to hometown for good.

On the other hand, i was afraid that with each depart, i would no longer feel the 'unwillingness to part' because that would mean i am turning cold-blooded. So perhaps all the emotional turns are good signs, i am still human after all.