Baby Steps

Most of my friends of my age would have climbed the corporate ladder to the middle management or perhaps the tip-top management already. I do not even possess a merit degree like most of my classmates did in NIE. However occasionally I could not help but compare my life with theirs.

Ever since the gold investment with Genneva got into trouble, my second income with Genneva is on a stand still.  I calmly and diligently did my job hunt and had never treated this matter in a frantic manner even though bad news seemed to pile up every single day. Being a tutor seemed to be the best career move for me at this point, however I still feel a grade lower than my counterparts who are the 'real' teachers in schools, this was said in a matter of fact by my student recently.

Most of my mornings are spent cracking my brains in chess with the slumber deity so I thought it will be more responsible of me to find some part time morning jobs.

Egoism does work itself into my job search mode. Being antisocial and dissociate, I shy away from jobs like receptionist,telemarketers, sales and jobs-alike that requires 'meeting people'. I look into administrative, home-based, basically jobs that require more handling of machines or pets. In this midst of unable-to-retire comfortably situation, I still refused to budge to return to a higher paid MOE teaching job for fear of my incompetence of handling a bigger number of kids. The mere thoughts of marking tons of essays still send a chill down my spine. This may sound ridiculous when I have been with the school system for more than a decade. At the moment, I still prefer to eat 'grass' than turn back to teaching in schools.

However the only thing I know is to teach and this hinders my job search. It is frustrating and irrefutable that I am so unqualified and too old for so many jobs. If I had hindsight back in my 20s, I would have probably tread on the information technology ground to seek a diploma instead of hankering for a degree in education.

'Success is never an accident.'

Perhaps my baby steps toward unearthing my ideal career path will lead me to another aspect of life? Who can tell....