It was not so bad that i could not have time to write blog eversince i returned to hometown. The motivation and enthusiasm to do anything seemed to have vanquished the moment i stepped back into the tropical soils. I have not jogged for almost 2 months since i came back, with the excuses of hot humid weather and that the scenery had changed at the back of my mind. I have since turned back to what i was--lethargic and lack of initiation before i left for U.S. because i was never truly happy and satisfied living in Singapore.
Sometimes i even wonder if i was a true Singaporean for the fact that i always have this 'look-down' notion in everything from policies to livelihood eversince i was mature enough to judge this society. Presently, this 'notion' is even more eminent now that i have returned to the same old working style of teaching in the neighbourhood primary school again. Working long hours in the school under MOE system is not a real problem to me since i am single( the society deemed this to be fit for singles!). It is the lack of freedom to teach and say that irks me; it is the 'obedience' of Singaporeans that is prominent in the education line that crushes me; it is my deficiency of courage at getting out immediately of this system that i possess now which dampens my spirit everyday.
I do not know exactly what i should be seeking in my career path and that writing CVs seemed to be the correct way to change my viewpoints. Besides, this is the only way i know and running away seems to be innate in my traits for all these years. I do not perhaps have another 39 years and am sick of being obedient, have i...... americanised?
4 comments:
Did u write tis in Chinese?
Motivation deficiency Feb 3, '11 1:55 AM
for everyone
It was not so bad that i could not have time to write blog eversince i returned to hometown. The motivation and enthusiasm to do anything seemed to have vanquished the moment i stepped back into the tropical soils. I have not jogged for almost 2 months since i came back, with the excuses of hot humid weather and that the scenery had changed at the back of my mind. I have since turned back to what i was--lethargic and lack of initiation before i left for U.S. because i was never truly happy and satisfied living in Singapore.
Sometimes i even wonder if i was a true Singaporean for the fact that i always have this 'look-down' notion in everything from policies to livelihood eversince i was mature enough to judge this society. Presently, this 'notion' is even more eminent now that i have returned to the same old working style of teaching in the neighbourhood primary school again. Working long hours in the school under MOE system is not a real problem to me since i am single( the society deemed this to be fit for singles!). It is the lack of freedom to teach and say that irks me; it is the 'obedience' of Singaporeans that is prominent in the education line that crushes me; it is the courage deficient at getting out immediately of this system that i possess now which dampens my spirit everyday.
I do not know exactly what i should be seeking in my career path and that writing CVs seemed to be the correct way to change my viewpoints. Besides, this is the only way i know and running away seems to be innate in my traits for all these years. I do not have another 39 years perhaps and am tired of being obedient, have i...... americanised?
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nope,what's wrong?
Ha, just got back to this site 'cause El said you were feeling down. I told her to tell you some jokes. She said "haha". That is not a joke!
Nothing is wrong. I wanted to check if the blog was in Chinese and translated into English, which my site is set to do. It was a very coherent piece and I thouhgt the translation got so much better. So credit to you not the translator. Great.
Life goes on, in most places.(Even in Egypt or Tehren). Most time when life is good we get to think and think of many other things alot. In the meantime, time passes.
life used to be too good for me, i guess but that happened in US much much more! I never had a good career life eversince i stepped into teaching! Long long hours spent in school sometimes leave me wondering if all this is worth it. Actually if i question this, i already knew the answer... now i wish time pass faster...
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