Jobless (25 sep 2003)

I do not write great poems or novelty essays. To pen thoughts down is no mean feat and I guess this happens to everyone once in a while. I am in that state...... Someone told me you need big dreams to drive yourself to success. I agree partly: we live on earth, not the moon, we all have limits. We may dream big but to reach for that peak takes time and occasionally by the time you realize "Oh, so that was my dream!", time has run out. But if I have a child, I will say, " Go for it! Think big before your age defies you!" Reality bites and is biting me hard now. I can never realize my dream now, it will always be a dream in my dreams...... Regrets and proscrastination engulf me from time to time and I know, in fact, everyone knows, these are bad. But who is there to say, I had never procrastinate, had never had any regrets. Afterall, I am a human being. The saying goes, " To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human." I wish I can blame anyone for all my pessimistic thoughts but my left brain sends the signal that 'all these are your own doings'. Being jobless is not the end of the world, yet it is enough to create a bruise in my pride now. I wonder how I will feel if I suffer a retrenchment instead. I need more trouble waters in order to push myself to build a bridge. Yes, that's what I should do. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel......25th Sep 2003