跟教学有关

老师教发音是要我们特别仔细听好。小时候把’English‘ 读为“硬给利息”的同学当了银行家；读为“因果关系”的成了哲学家；读为“硬改历史” 的成了领导；而我不小心读成”应该累死“，结果我当了老师。 唉，自作孽活该！



小明造句拿0分。
1）难过：我家前面有一条大水沟，很难过去。
2） 如果：可乐不如果汁营养。
3） 天真：今天真热。
4）十分：妹妹只考了十分，真丢脸。
5）从容： 我做事都从容易的做起。
6）棉被：小玉的卫生棉被被偷了。
7）便当：弟弟把大便当每天起床非得做的事。

Colours of my Home

Almost a month into my new house in Pasir Ris, my house is still in 'turmoil' and 'mess'.

Firstly that Changi airport-Number 1-sister of mine may take another 2 to 3 weeks for the least to 'clear' her unpacking.

Secondly, we are still in the midst of adaptation, adapting to new environment (even though my first school as a teacher was in Pasir Ris Primary back in 1997, come to think of it, I do have some linkage and fate seems to pull me back to this area again ), adapting to the distances that I had to put up with (longer time and cost) to any parts of Singapore, adapting to just living with my sister instead of 6 in a family, adapting to making my own breakfast, lunch and dinner etc etc.

All these perhaps are just excuses to settling down. Afterall, I  had experienced the solitary living back in Arizona. Ahhhh... those good old days! Perhaps it is the reconciliation of my freedom ( if I was married twenty years back, I would have the adulthood freedom long time ago) since 2007 that i am trying to adapt to and it was not without anticipation two months back. I had abused that sort of freedom for three whole years doing whatever i love to, when i want to and how i want it!  Now it still seems like a sudden jerk that i have this freedom back again though there is still some sort of restriction like Loo Loo still snoozing away in this late afternoon and I cannot sing at the top of my voice as our walls are pretty thin in this estate.

`Watercolours` is the name for our estate and yet from the exterior there is nothing colourful to it, even our walls and ceiling initially was white! Now that we have our house painted, our theme is still very much far from colours, grey is our theme. Loo and I had always been others' shadows and we had never liked to be in the limelight, so i pretty much expected our 'colours' will remain this way even if we were to choose again.

I will treasure this moment and many more 'colours' to come!

Come what may, ode to my new home!

动力

       我越来越缺乏动力。一种年轻时曾经拥有积极向上，奋勇向前的人生动力。 如今的我已‘转型’成为美术老师接近一年半载，但是有的时候还是有些力不从心。我毕竟不是美专毕业的，所以还是经常担心自己不够格，无法引起学生的兴趣和灌输正确的教学法。 可是我自认很尽责，很努力了。听说现在求职者若对上属说自己很努力很尽力已经是不足！ 得说我一定给你办到！希望上层没听到或看到这样的报道，说不定明天我就可能丢饭碗。其实我又在自欺欺人了，可能这已不是什么新闻，资讯发达，天下秘密应该是越来越少吧。
         话说回来， 我挺同意台湾黄鼎殷医生的见解。他认为感情动力是人生动力的一部份。他还说有人赚了一百万后就没有了人生动力。换成是我，我可能会寻回我曾有的动力！我是很爱钱的，有了一百万真的能做好多事，因此想不通为何有人会没有动力。也许人就是这样， 有了目标以后，拼命地朝向目标不断进取、努力工作，而在真正达到目标后又突然好像失去了什么，最后动力也就随之云霄湮灭。
         最近听我老妹说她公司里有几位不到60岁的同事相继患上不治之症而逝世，今天我在报章上还见到有人的同事仅40出头就暴毙了！ 而且还不止一位。 一生劳劳碌碌，拼死拼搏为妻儿工作，到头来还未享受金钱所带来的‘幸福’便撒手人寰，多么悲痛呀！有谁能预料明天自己是否还会活着，如此这般过一生，我千万个不愿！想到这，还谈什么动不动力呢。
        可能选择饿着肚子比这些‘作死’自己的路会更好走吧！

无题

人只能做到自制，但却不能为情所制。

然而，有的事情可以留下，有的事情过去就过去了，不必挽留。

人生是来体会的，不是来受罪，要多多善待自己。

回归

曾经对道南同僚说过，好像是对蕊坚说的,不知怎么的，在道南教书有种说不出的‘想拼命’的感觉。

刚才的滂沱大雨为我今日‘回归’道南教学作了谢幕，窗外透着微微凉意，我淡淡地吸了几口两年前在东京机场寻获的‘暖心窝’绿茶。回想今天教学的浑浑噩噩，总算敖过去了，离开道南5年了，还在为道南赴汤蹈火的一些同事给予我的慰问与关怀让‘回归’道南的我...我....一切尽在不言中......

Baby Steps

Most of my friends of my age would have climbed the corporate ladder to the middle management or perhaps the tip-top management already. I do not even possess a merit degree like most of my classmates did in NIE. However occasionally I could not help but compare my life with theirs.

Ever since the gold investment with Genneva got into trouble, my second income with Genneva is on a stand still.  I calmly and diligently did my job hunt and had never treated this matter in a frantic manner even though bad news seemed to pile up every single day. Being a tutor seemed to be the best career move for me at this point, however I still feel a grade lower than my counterparts who are the 'real' teachers in schools, this was said in a matter of fact by my student recently.

Most of my mornings are spent cracking my brains in chess with the slumber deity so I thought it will be more responsible of me to find some part time morning jobs.

Egoism does work itself into my job search mode. Being antisocial and dissociate, I shy away from jobs like receptionist,telemarketers, sales and jobs-alike that requires 'meeting people'. I look into administrative, home-based, basically jobs that require more handling of machines or pets. In this midst of unable-to-retire comfortably situation, I still refused to budge to return to a higher paid MOE teaching job for fear of my incompetence of handling a bigger number of kids. The mere thoughts of marking tons of essays still send a chill down my spine. This may sound ridiculous when I have been with the school system for more than a decade. At the moment, I still prefer to eat 'grass' than turn back to teaching in schools.

However the only thing I know is to teach and this hinders my job search. It is frustrating and irrefutable that I am so unqualified and too old for so many jobs. If I had hindsight back in my 20s, I would have probably tread on the information technology ground to seek a diploma instead of hankering for a degree in education.

'Success is never an accident.'

Perhaps my baby steps toward unearthing my ideal career path will lead me to another aspect of life? Who can tell....

Joan Baez - Where have All The Flowers Gone

Where have all my old times gone? Long time passing....