It was not so bad that i could not have time to write blog eversince i returned to hometown. The motivation and enthusiasm to do anything seemed to have vanquished the moment i stepped back into the tropical soils. I have not jogged for almost 2 months since i came back, with the excuses of hot humid weather and that the scenery had changed at the back of my mind. I have since turned back to what i was--lethargic and lack of initiation before i left for U.S. because i was never truly happy and satisfied living in Singapore.
Sometimes i even wonder if i was a true Singaporean for the fact that i always have this 'look-down' notion in everything from policies to livelihood eversince i was mature enough to judge this society. Presently, this 'notion' is even more eminent now that i have returned to the same old working style of teaching in the neighbourhood primary school again. Working long hours in the school under MOE system is not a real problem to me since i am single( the society deemed this to be fit for singles!). It is the lack of freedom to teach and say that irks me; it is the 'obedience' of Singaporeans that is prominent in the education line that crushes me; it is my deficiency of courage at getting out immediately of this system that i possess now which dampens my spirit everyday.
I do not know exactly what i should be seeking in my career path and that writing CVs seemed to be the correct way to change my viewpoints. Besides, this is the only way i know and running away seems to be innate in my traits for all these years. I do not perhaps have another 39 years and am sick of being obedient, have i...... americanised?
